I thought I would let you know..

Claire.  I am so glad we became friends. You are truely one of a kind. We may not hang out very much, but that just makes our four hour conversations at Starbucks even better. I love being able to talk to you and tell you things that I couldn't normally tell others. And though you may not always take my advice, you know I am always here for you. <3

Sam.  Wow. You're getting married. And moving to Florida! I am going to miss you like crazy. Um. Weren't we JUST in seventh grade? Hahaha. I know how happy you are for the change and in all honesty, I couldn't be happier for you. I can't wait to get out of here and start my own life. I'm glad you're expressing your independence and doing what you want. Please stay in contact and visit as much as you can. I love you. Good luck <3

Steven.  Last night was so much fun. Me, you and Sam need to do that again before she leaves. I'm so glad you were happy and hyper. It gave off such a fun vibe and we all had a great time. I really like that side of you. Be like that more often? :)

Becky.  You are my oranges. My disneyland buddy. The girl who keeps me up late at night. Hahaha. I love hanging out with you and being random. Laughing (in circular motion) and bringing up old times will never get old with you. I love you so much <3

Risa.  I love that we started hanging out.. and I've known you since elementary school. I didn't know the kind of person you were before but I love who you are now. You're so much fun and can always make me smile. I love answering your random questions over text messaging and exploring trails. I know we will be friends for a long time. :)

Julia.  I'm not sorry for what I said. I meant every word. I'm just sorry for the way I said it. I could have handled it a lot better. But I honestly and truely hope you are happier now. I know I am. And I know there will be times when I will think of you and miss you, but we both know it's for the best. Thank you for your friendship and know that I won't forget you. :)

So.
I'm talking to you. <3
I'm not talking to you. :D
I'm dating you. <333
I'm missing you. :/
I'm lovin' it :P

I won't forget you (I won't forget you)
I'm not gonna let you win
But I'm tired of the lying
Tired of fighting you
And it's not gonna change


Isn't great how songs just.. fit?

So I was planning on posting on how good the past few days have been, until my mom just bitched me out...

I wore one of her sweaters for my Christmas event for work. She got really pissed when she found out and told me never to touch her clothes again, but she didn't ask for it back. I intended to wash it when I did all my laundry, but she just came in my room and was like "find my sweater". I looked through my laundry basket and got it out and handed it to her. She proceeds to tell me that I just completely damaged her sweater and asked me how many times I wore it. While I was saying just once, she walked away. God she's ridiculous.

Anyways, Jonathan, you don't know how happy I am to be with you again. I'm so glad that you're someone I can trust. You always know how to make me feel better when I'm upset or stressed out. This weekend with you has been amazing. It sucks that it had to end. I loveeee being in your arms and feeling so secure with everything. You make me happy. I love you.

Steven, today was... interesting. I wish some things were different, but it was really nice seeing you again. SM #1 :P I think a Tommys run is in order. I'm feelin' it soon lol. Thanks for buying me my cigarettes. lol. I need to get my damn id. P.s: Don't worry :]

Julie, I am sooooo FUCKING glad you have a phone now!!!!!!!!! I miss you. I love you. :'D

So everyone keep promising to take me to sushi and it doesn't happen. GRRRR. I want sushi. I'll just have to treat myself.

I don't like this point in time. Everyone is finding their own path. Old friends are moving on and new friends have big plans in the near future. Everyone is leaving and it sucks. :\

I plan on taking a road trip to Oregon over spring break or summer if anyone is interested in coming with me. I mean, I'd prefer to not go alone. And I'm not so sure that my parents would want me going alone anyways. We'd be covered with a place to stay if I can convince my cousin to let us stay with him. His name is Max and he lives in Portland so it should be awesome. I reaaaaaalllllyyyyyyy wanna go. :)

Also! I am officially obsessed with the movie Alice, based off of Alice in Wonderland. Alice is all grown up with brown hair and the white rabbit is evil. AND! The hatter is really cute. He helps Alice the whole time and eventually falls for her. It's adorable. Apparently this movie has been running on syfy for a while now but the movie only released this year. It's also four hours long. :P I NEED to buy it. Butttt I can't wait for the new new one in March. We still on Claire? :)

My mom informed me tonight that on December 23rd, our family is playing White Elephant. This. Should be interesting.

You are SO cute. I wish you knew.

Ha...
I had them once upon a time too.
I hoped that you would see my side,
That maybe...just maybe, you would change.
My hope for you now is to Live and Learn.
That's all you can do for now.
I do wish I could still talk to you.
I do wish we could be friends like we were not too long ago.
But my high hopes have crumbled.
I am at a loss.
I have given up...
For your sake, and my own...
I guess you should too.






I guess since you can't have me, it makes sense that you would go for people close to me... but my coworker? really?....Sigh. I guess I'm still not used to disapointment...










I love you..... I just can't.